Carson "Don't Call it a Comeback" Daly introduces us to our wonderful coaches, who are singing "Under Pressure" by Queen. Cee Lo is wearing a sequined dashiki. Blake is amazing, Adam is amazing, Christina misses the first few words. Whoopsie daisie. The best part of the whole thing is that Christina fixes her ear piece when she hits a high note, like every bad mockery of her ever done.
Overall, I was a little more impressed with their other performances, this one seemed hastily thrown together. I hope it was because they were all too busy coaching their singers to practice.
Carson "Sometimes, I still call Eminem...just to talk" Daly lets us know that this eppy will be jam packed with performances, which makes me excited as a viewer, but worried for my carpal tunnel syndrome. This is going to be a big one, folks.
And just to remind you, these are the teams.
Team Bald Chick aka Christina (now just the one): Beverly
Team Adam: Javier
Team Blake: Dia Frampton
Team Cee Lo: Vicci
We get a shot of the contestants and they look radiant.
Carson "I rented this suit" Daly wants to ask the contestants some questions. Dia clearly needs to work on her interactions- she's so awkward. Actually, all the contestants are awkward. What's the deal with getting these people to talk when they're so f*cking nervous? Javier makes up some bull about how they all genuinely love each other. Sure. That was before he infected his rivals with laringitis at the contintental breakfast this morning.
Carson "I probably have Anthony Keidis' number in my cell phone" Daly mentions how being at the live show is like being at TRL. It makes me laugh.
In the shameless pimping of social products room, the chick with fun hair asks Beverly how she feels. "There can only be one." Beverly says "Like Highlander." BEVERLY IS THE BEST.
Javier is all about his vocals with his original song (That's right- they're playing originals!). In the rehersal the song sounds so cheesy it's as if I dipped my string cheese into a spicy queso sauce. But "Stitch by Stitch" is going to be performed live, so we'll see...
Cut to: Puzzle piece graphics falling in the background (someone left the screensaver on). The song was basically made for the dentist's office. It's got a nice melody and vocals, but it's so terribly inoffensive that I kind of zone out for a bit and check the twitter. Oh, Carson Daly is trending. How 'bout that.
Typical to the show, the coaches never say anything bad about the person who just performed. Adam is proud.
Does anyone else think that this song may have been a game changer? I just don't think that "Stitch by Stitch" was a song that's going to win the competition. It's just too safe, too easy.
Dia and Blake are up to duet (oh yes, there will be coach/contestant duets). They're singing "Won't Back Down" by Tom Petty (!!!) and Dia fawns over Blake for teaching her confidence. It's precious. I quote Blake "I remember when I had that look in my face that Dia has...I probably lost that along the way somewhere. And she's helped me find it again." Blake Shelton, I didn't know who you were before this show, but I am officially smitten.
Their duet starts, rocking the Ray-Ban Wayfarers and suits. It's incredible. Except we notice how tall Blake is because he's basically squatting to stay on the same level as Dia. Oh, and they have matching guitars. Dia's really living it on stage. I love to watch her perform. She pulls into ranking number 1, for me at least.
Next up is Team Cee Lo, Vicci is reading her original song "Afraid to Sleep." She admits that Dashboard Confessional is a guilty pleasure of hers. It takes cojones to admit that but I feel her. Who hasn't listened to some Dashboard from time to time?
The song is shades of the band Heart from the 80s. I wish she would enunciate more, but I like the lyrics I hear. True to what she said during her rehearsal, it's a song that builds. I get the stank face of approval. The stank face of approval is when I curl my upper lip and nod my head to the beat, as if to say, "Ughhh. Yeah. That's good." She lets the beat drop for a moment, which is always good in any song, and she hits every note with the vibrato of a person that may or may not then go into seizure. This girl really feels it. I would not be upset if she won.
Can we talk about Christina's boobs? My roommate says that he doesn't mind them (typical guys, am I right?), but his girlfriend and I agree that they look weird. Her bra's a little ill fitting, I guess? What I'm trying to say is that it's distracting.
Pit Bull and Ne-Yo take the stage...wait, WHAT? Did the channel change? I'm really confused. Here's the thing: I'm really white. So I don't know who these people are. Is that really bad? I listen to Animal Collective, so I fear I'm far behind on any of the Top 40 unless it the folks at Ology tell me I should listen to something. Anyway they sing something about boffing Lindsay Lohan and the back up dancers (who have been the bane of my existence) are straight out of the American Apparel catalog. Which reminds me, I need new leggings.
Meanwhile in the Social Media lounge extravaganza, Dia says she wants to sing some more Tom Petty and Beverly wants to sing some more Etta James. I would so be in to that Beverly, do it.
Beverly and Christina are doing "Beautiful" together. Typical Christina. Personally, I think they shoud sing 4 Non-Blondes. In the rehearsal, it's like two amazing singers are singing at each other, rather than with each other. This happens from time to time, especially when dealing with X-Tina.
Beverly starts of super strong, I always forget how much I enjoy watching her perform. Christina puts her hand up to her ear mic again. It sounds like I'm harping on Team Christina, but I'm not, their duet is great. They sound great together. I would even consider purchasing this on iTunes.
Katherine McPhee pops up out of nowhere. Oh hay, Katherine McPhee. What are you doing here? She's here to pimp out her new show Smash, which premieres next midseason on NBC. Check that shiz out here.
Carson "I only call Kurt Loder when I'm drunk" Daly reminds us that we should only be voting on the contestants' original songs, which I think is rather silly. How can you forget the duets of tonight? Even subconsciously every performance is going to affect you. Anyway, Dia's up- her rehearsal footage of her typically slouched over (my Grandmother would go crazy over her posture) and she giggles when Blake talks.
Dia takes the stage to sing "Inventing Shadows" which I actually like, mostly because the lyrics are really good. It's completely ruined, of course, by the addition of cheesy back up dancers. Damn you back up dancers, damn you to hell. It's one of those songs that the CW or MTV will play over aTeen Wolf or Gossip Girl dramatic moment. Meaning: Guilty pleasure to the extreme. Much like Dashboard! I think it's the best of the original songs so far- we still have Beverly to go. Personally, I think she (Dia) is going to win. Especially cause Javier was "meh."
Christina is angry because she got heat once about the back up dancers and Blake totally zings her. But again, everyone is distracted by the back up dancers. Blake is so supportive of Dia and I love it. I really think she's going to sweep, guys.
Except that Adam and Javier are going to duet with "Man in the MIrror" which is totally SICK. They come out looking like rejects of Boys II Men and I'm into it. And OH MY GOD, the duet is so good. RIP Michael Jackson, these boys are doing you right. I actually like it so much I think I have a new karaoke song to debut this Thursday (Ology outing night). I do wish that Javier would start scatting a bit though.
Brad Paisley takes the stage, with Blake joining eventually. In typical country music fashion they're singing about drinkin' in Mexico. Maybe I should start listening to country more often, clearly it's music after my own heart. I mean, they're talking about getting drunk. That's what I do. Oh and by the way, Brad Paisley looks like a midget compared to the super giant that is Blake Shelton.
"Inventing Shadows" is trending worldwide. Done. Dia's the winner, right? I guess we'll have to wait for tomorrow.
The last original song comes from Beverly. It's sure to be an absolute powerhouse. It's called "Love Sick" which furthers the expectation of blues and crescendo that Beverly is so good at.
She starts the performance off with a silly dance move, but she is the only one who really understands the premise of a single. It's poppy, upbeat, powerful, and has a fast tempo. Like a Kelly Clarkson song. Seriously, you guys, this is making it hard to predict who's going to win. Anyway, "Love Sick" is also delightfully 80s. History, fashion, and now music repeats itself. She wins for best original song HANDS DOWN.
Can we all agree at this point that the contestants are incredible?
The final duet of the night is Cee Lo and Vicci. Which during the rehearsal Cee Lo says is "explosive." They're going to do Pat Benetar's "Love is a Battlefield." Stank face commencing, because it's going to be awesome.
In the perfomance, there's tiny children and Cee Lo is dressed like...Rufffio?! They're referencingHook? YOU GUYS, THIS IS SOME SICK SH*T. I can't even begin to describe the reaction that I'm having right now. The child dancers are a million times better than the regular dancers. Cee Lo has a mohawk. Seriously, me and my roommates are screaming in jubliation right now because this has to be, hands down, the best performance that The Voice has ever put on. You'll be watching it on YouTube tomorrow, no doubt.
Overall, Javier's original song blew, but his duet was incredible. Dia's original was beautiful and her duet was equally impressive, Beverly's original and duet were great, Vicci's original was also "meh" but her duet was the best performance of the season.
SumOlogy: IT'S SO UP IN THE AIR I CAN'T EVEN DEAL. Seriously, my roommates and I exploded with arguments with who's going to win. Tomorrow is going to be "Sh*t Yourself" good.
Who do you think will be The Voice? Comment below!
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